Page 7 - To Family with Love
P. 7

I unfortunately did not use it well, although I tried my best. God is my witness.
Gugi the dog, my first attempt, whom I brought home from a nearby neighborhood, didn’t have a clue about house rules or hygiene. That is the differential characteristic of stray dogs, the thing that distinguishes them from pets, for whose purchase I never had enough money. Without any inhibitions whatsoev- er, Gugi would piss and shit all over the apartment as if I had brought him to a field, not a nice family home on the fourth floor. Since he would empty his bladder and bowels much faster than I was able to clean, I called it quits pretty soon, so it all smelled to high heaven from the very beginning, as if there even was any- thing heavenly about that love that was bound to end.
Then, in the end, to add salt to injury, my old lady puffed up her chest:
− It’s either him or me!!
So, in order to decide what to do with ma, my old man and I quickly organized a referendum and a secret ballot by way of summary procedure, which resulted in two votes in favor of keeping the old lady and one dissenting vote. We are still bearing the consequences of that ballot, and the old lady has been per- sistently investigating who had been the scoundrel behind that dissenting vote, although no one has any idea, because what kind of a secret ballot would it be if everyone knew it was me?
By that ugly democratic act, Gugi was denied many rights: the right to adaptation, the right to a family, the right to a hot meal and a warm home, the right to a collar and a leash, and he was left with the right to fleas and freedom, which he would later exercise for several months, until he was caught by dogcatchers.
Although, allegedly, case law treats complicity like murder itself, nothing happened to my folks. Nothing – there wasn’t even

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