Page 79 - To Family with Love
P. 79

and where could my old man’s water shoes have gotten lost, and by the way, she could call my old man to hear what he was up to since they haven’t talked in a long time... Really, she could.
And I just softly hummed:
Stop with your buffoonery and tricks To dishonor other people’s wives
I’ll be coming for you with knives Wherever you try to hide
That was the nicest trip of my life, although not a single soul in the tram could guess, no matter how hard they tried, where we were headed. Then, I sat on my mother’s lap as big as I was and started telling her the most beautiful stories about my father, a hero and a paragon of virtue, who went to war without having to, who did everything he could to protect us, defend us and re- store our dignity. But then again, when it came to dignity, we felt like shitty pigeons, because while we were sitting opposite each other, and at the same time opposite recent events and unpleas- ant facts, we suddenly became ashamed of all our actions: how quickly and lightly we renounced dad, and how we traded him for a few colorful illusions, for car rides, false promises, a point- less trip, and a fictional fake life without any obligations or du- ties. We fell for a lie, and it was three times harder and worse for us when we realized, especially mom, just how big of a jerk the guy feeding us all that bullshit was. We became aware of what kind of crap we got dragged into, because the truth is usually shitty and very often hurts terribly. In the end, we held onto each other as two death row inmates, which was not appropriate for our respective ages, but it was acceptable given our situation, all for the purpose of going through the pain together right then and there, the pain that was in the phase of a multiplication operation. At this point, I can only add that people are insensitive bastards

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